What I Know For Sure: Graduation & Change

it’s been quite awhile since i’ve done a “what i know for sure” installation. perhaps this is because i’m beginning to realize that i really don’t know anything for sure. it often happens in life that as soon as i’ve figured something out I’m quickly reminded somehow that i was wrong or mistaken. i think this is because of the fluid nature of life. life is all about change. it’s about the ebb and flow.

as many of you already know i graduated in december with my BFA in photographic imaging from the art institute of washington. it was a great moment in my life to finally walk across the stage and receive my diploma while my family and friends cheered me on. it was an accomplishment that i’ve been working toward for quite awhile. and i’m not tooting my own horn here too much…but i’m good at school (i do know that for sure) and i graduated summa cum laude.

i was asked by the dean of AIW to be the student speaker for graduation. at first i was dumb struck. really? they wanted me to speak? i said yes before asking how many people attended the graduation commencement. when i was told over 1000 i thought i was going to have a heart attack and seriously considered backing out.

standing there on stage with everyone looking at me i was close to an anxiety attack. i’m not a public speaker! i think i have a weird voice and i definitely talk too much with my hands. i can talk and talk and talk to anyone in person, one on one….but on a stage? in front of 1000+ people? into a microphone at a podium? and really what did i have to say? what bits of wisdom did i have to give to my fellow classmates?

i sat down to write my speech several times. but i came up with nothing. i didn’t want to sound boring, or stupid, or talk about the same thing everyone talks about in a commencement speech. i wanted to be me. i wanted to talk about something that everyone could relate to. this brings me back to what i was talking about earlier….the fluidity of life. the fact that i don’t know much of anything for sure except that life is all about change.

so here it is (written the night before)…my graduation speech on change…it’s what i know for sure…

“friends, family, members of the faculty, honored guest, and fellow graduates…good evening and welcome. as your student speaker i have been given the honor of addressing you my fellow graduates. i use the term honor loosely here as i stand before all of you on this podium shaking, and sweating, and i’m sure i have turned a beautiful shade of magenta.

all of my final projects were due last week and  my portfolio show preparation continued on through approximately 1 am this morning. preparing a speech as well was not part of my original plans for graduation…and by far this has been one of my most stressful projects yet. so please everyone be patient with me as i am a photographer by profession, not a speech writer or maker.

we deserve to celebrate today. we have all worked very hard to earn our degree, wear these caps and gowns, and be here tonight. we have stayed up late, drank way too much coffee, crunched for exams, battled the metro system as well as the beltway traffic, and waited in long lines for extended periods of time for the elevators. it is now time for us to take ownership of our careers and ultimately our success. it is time to create art that matters. and it is time to embrace the great changes that are happening in our lives right now.

i read quite a few blogs daily. some bring a smile or a few tears. some are informational, some entertaining, and some just have phenomenal photography. many touch my heart or make me want to be a better person. and then there are the occasional blog posts that bring me an “ah ha” moment.

the amazing marketing guru seth godin recently wrote such a post. the title…no, everything is not going to be ok. the title alone blew me away. what a strong statement.

seth’s blog post said “it’s natural to seek reassurance. most of us want to believe that the choices we make will work out, that everything will be okay. artists and those that launch the untested, the new and the emotional, wrestle with this need all the time. but…no everything is not going to be okay. it never is. it isn’t okay now. change, by definition requires change.” in short he said that in order to proceed in life we have to be able to “free ourselves from the need for perfect acceptance” only then can we produce meaningful work.

but let’s take this a little bit further. life is all about change. without change we would become stagnant and boring. but how many of us reject change because we are afraid that somebody will look at us like we’re crazy or will dislike our work?

not long ago a friend reminded me that in order to be good to everyone else we need to first be good to ourselves. i thought well duh…i know that. isn’t that covered in emotional well being 101? but as the conversation went on a little bit i was struck by the fact that i really have been looking at life and at change from a protected perspective.

i always want to know that things will work out. i want to be reassured by others and by myself that it will be ok. that i will be ok. that everything will be ok. and if all the proper ok’s have not been handed down to me then i don’t usually allow myself to think in that direction any longer.

it’s hard. it’s hard letting go of the notion that in order to move forward we have to be assured that it’s going to work out. that in order to move forward as an artist our work has be accepted by everyone. it’s hard to not need that big pat on the back from every person we come into contact with and the words “your work is great”.

it’s hard to move forward as an artist, friend, mother, and individual as well without knowing that we will be accepted for who we are. that we will be understood. that we will be embraced. that we will be loved. that we will be successful. but if we don’t move forward we don’t ever create change. and if we don’t create and accept change then we aren’t really living. and if we’re not really living then what exactly is the point?

so i say accept and embrace the changes in your life. furthermore create change. shake things up a little. don’t wait for the reassurance that everything will be ok. go with your gut feeling and look into your heart and soul for guidance. don’t wait for the thumbs up sign from the powers that be. instead put yourself on the life. put your art on the line and create work that matters. create art that people will remember.”

and don’t hate…these pics were taken with a camera phone or a point and shoot. yeah that how us photographers roll at graduation.

at portfolio show in my booth prior to graduation: